thoughts part I

Many times, I hear people wondering, including myself, why relationships can’t work out, why we are frustrated with each other, or when we finally meet a guy/girl and we want to go out with him, and we exchange mobile numbers, and we actually date a couple of times and then nothing… no phone calls, no messages…

So we jump to conclusions that he/she has to be a jackass, or he/she is just not into to us…and even if that is the case, why this is happening to us, what we have done wrong, and we end up accusing the him/her, or ourselves.

Well, hold your horses: have we ever wondered what we want when we set our mind on someone? If it is, for instance, just sex, then sex will be. Nothing more, nothing less.

The hard thing is when we change the deal that we have made, before even we start talking to the guy/girl. Because believe it or not we always have made a sort of deal of what we want to happen with the other, but unfortunately most of times we haven’t realised it, cause we are not present at the moment. I mean when the first approach is really happening, we have already begun observing and criticising the way the other talk, walk, his sense of humour etc, so we already put him /her in a box. But when this happens, which is something very human, and very understandable, we should be aware of what we are thinking, because everything is energetic. The more positive thoughts we have when we want to be with somebody, the more things we are going to get. But we have to know that we really want to be with somebody. Because, the fear of being rejected, or the fear of intimacy, or the fear of disappointment, the FEAR is there.

And let me tell you something else: all relationships ordinarily are escapes from our sadness. Even in relationship it erupts many times. Then one tends to throw the responsibility on the other, but it is not the real thing. It is your loneliness, your own sadness. You have not settled with it yet, so it will erupt again and again.

and some quotes from Osho
Sadness is part of your being.

Every man is born alone — in the world, but alone; comes through the parents, but alone. And every man dies alone, again moves out of the world alone. And between these two lonelinesses we go on deceiving and fooling ourselves. It is good to take courage and enter into this loneliness. However hard and difficult it may look in the beginning, it pays tremendously. Once you settle with it, once you start enjoying it, once you feel it not as sadness but as silence, once you understand that there is no way to escape, you relax. You stop complaining for your loneliness, you come to terms with it. And when it goes, you will be unburdened, absolutely unburdened, as if the whole gravitation has disappeared and you can fly, weightless and this is the time when you may find a sort of inner balance.

And perhaps then, everything will click for you.